Tuesday, July 01, 2008

your wisdom please!

I was wondering if you might be able to help me. I am wanting to buy a parenting book or two in the next few months and have NO IDEA where to begin. I have heard of a couple but I am still none the wiser about which to get.

If all you wonderful Mummy's and Daddy's (even if you are not yet a Mummy or Daddy but know of any books let me know) out there have any books that you have found particularly helpful or if you have heard of any that you think might be worth reading then please comment which book it is and why you personally found it helpful or why you think it might be helpful, etc.

I just want a bit of guidance, I have a while yet so I am in no huge rush!

Thanks to you all, my personally brains trust!


Anonymous said...

Baby Love written by Australian midwife Robin Barker is a helpful book for the first year of life, imho. Maybe check it out in the library first or try & pick it up secondhand? And now for some unsolicited advice ( you get a lot of "free advice" when you're pregnant ;-).Realise that you are now being targeted by ruthless marketers & advertising companies now that you're a mummy to be. Be aware of the cunning emotive techniques that they employ to get you to buy stuff that you and your baby don't actually need. Resist the urge to consume all the stuff that "they" say that you *must have*. God bless you and your bundle. Enjoy the ride.

Anonymous said...

From the Best Parenting Book ever there is Deut 6:7-9 and 18:20. Also revisit Psalm 139 and delight in what the Lord has created within you!

Dominic said...

Dear Nixter - Buy Scott a present 'So you are going to be a dad' by Peter Downey. It's the best book for new dads - and it's not trying to talk them into being mothers - like so many of the other books. And he's Christian and from the northern beaches!

Anonymous said...

I would also recommend BabyLove by Robin Barker and dare I say it, I found the books by Garry Ezzo called 'On becomming Babywise' a very helpful guide book and point of reference while my babies were/are small. Take it all with a grain of salt and I would recommend you find a friend who you see doing parenting well and who you trust and ask them for their advice. Advice from too many sources can get very complicated and confusing. A fun and informative pregnancy book is the Kaz Cooke book 'up the duff' and also the 'What to expect whn you're expecting'. Well, so much for not getting advice from too many sources! As has already been said - Enjoy the ride! What a treasure from our great God!

David Ould said...

have to agree with the suggestion to get both Baby Love and ezzo. They will apply slightly different philosophies and seeing more than 1 approach is helpful.

In particular the Ezzo is worth reading (and get the secular one) if only for the first chapter where they set out their philosophy. We've applied that philosophy (if not all the guidelines) with our 2 and it's a great way to structure things.

Libby said...

I have Baby Love and have referred to it over the past 12mths (I especially found it helpful for introducing solids and she has great sleep advice). Since I have a boy I am going to probably read 'Raising Boys' by Steve Biddulph but haven't yet, but I hear it is a winner.
Matt read Fatherhood by Tony Payne but I haven't read it so can't tell you any more than that!
Another helpful one (more for your marriage, but a strong one definitely helps you parent well) was 'How to child-proof your marriage'by Debbie L Cherry was really helpful in preparing us as a couple for kids (we both read it before our baby came along) - we got it from Moore Books. All the best :)

Anonymous said...

here's a link to the Ezzo philosophy (forget about the guidelines)


John H said...

Babywise (i.e. Ezzo) had some useful stuff in it. The Ezzos' theology in the Christian version is, by all accounts, completely whacked out though.

What I would say about Babywise is that it is not as iconoclastic as it tries to make out. It presents itself as resisting the monolithic orthodoxy of demand-feeding, but (at least in the UK) when you speak to any health visitor or other professional they will give advice that is almost indistinguishable from the Ezzos': i.e. you should be looking to get an overall rhythm of regular feeding established, with feeds becoming larger and more spaced out over time, rather than sloshing a few mouthfuls of milk down the child every time s/he squawks.

Avoid Douglas Wilson. A lot of what he says amounts to "Do this and they will live" - i.e. "covenant faithfulness" in parenting more-or-less guarantees believing children, and if your children don't believe then it's because you as their parents have been covenantally unfaithful. Guaranteed route to a lifetime of guilt-tripping and/or parental legalism.

And one key thing to remember: you don't read any books when the second one arrives! That should put into perspective how important (or otherwise) it is to read lots of books when the first one arrives...

Nixter said...

Thank you all so much for your wisdom and advice, I have found it extremely helpful.

It's good to get a few opinions and as someone put it - to take it with a pinch of salt. It appears that most of you agree on what parenting books to buy, so that's also encouraging ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to say - thank-you!

Ruth said...

And one key thing to remember: you don't read any books when the second one arrives!

Lol John! I read Babywise when expecting my second child!! But I know what you mean. I used it as a guide for 'B' - and he was a great sleeper...I used it for 'C' and he didn't sleep through the night till he was 12months...

God makes each kid different - enjoy each one, and use whatever method works for you and the baby God has given you.

Best Parenting Book ever there is Deut 6:7-9 and 18:20. Also revisit Psalm 139 and delight in what the Lord has created within you!

I completely agree.

Best parenting advice I received??

Pray pray pray pray pray pray and pray!

Thank God for your little one, pray that s/he will always know their Heavenly Father, pray for wisdom, pray for sleep, pray for patience, thank God for joy, delight, happiness, each day God gives with each precious child, pray...

I emailed you some other thoughts/suggestions.

ckjolly said...

sacred parenting, by gary thomas.

i recommend coupling any how-to book with this one. Like Thomas' book Sacred Marriage, the reader's holiness is the focus. What can your children teach YOU about God? etc.

from the back cover:

An exploration of the spiritual dynamics of parenting.

Many books have been written about how to parent a child effectively, how to become a better parent, and how effective parenting produces better kids. But Sacred Parentingthe new book by Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriagedelves into an entirely different reality: how parenting affects the parent. It explores the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us. Thomas doesnt tell parents how to handle a chronically sick or rebellious child, but he does help parents find spiritual meaning behind the almost heroic care such children require.

Because Sacred Parenting is not a how to book, it openly admits the difficulties, struggles, and failures that often accompany parenting. And it goes on to show how God uses those trying and discouraging times to build up the parents who experience them. Parents of all children will be encouraged by the examples of how other men and women have successfully handled the challenges and occasional defeats of parenting, and will be inspired by stories that reaffirm the spiritual value of being a parent.

blairandkate said...

It is the best book so many swear by it!

Helps with routine, mum's sleep and all that stuff!

Love kate xox